I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit lately.
Moving to India was a big deal – not only were we trying to set up home somewhere totally, totally different, but we were faced with the daunting task of finding new friends and starting again. Luckily we met some fantastic people over there– many of whom I know will be in our lives for a long time – but it took a while to find them, and I found myself in lots of new social situations being asked about myself and what I do.
Two years on and we’re in the same situation, starting our lives in a foreign place. And even with all the practice I've had, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have moments when I struggle to tell people what I do with confidence.
Personal styling isn’t a traditional job - I take people shopping and edit their wardrobes for a living; it’s not your typical 9-5.
I used to dread the question “so, what do you do for a living?” It used to be a huge hurdle I’d struggle to get over, partly because I didn’t think that people understood what I did for a living, and if they did, they’d probably think it was not a real job. There was also a small part of me that would think they were going to label me as materialistic, vain or judgmental (worrying about what I thought about their style). I was fully aware that I was the one who put that hurdle there, but no matter how hard I tried, I’d still falter at the starting line.
Over the years, I’ve learnt a few ways of dealing with it, like beginning with a positive instead of a negative. For example, I might want to say “I run a styling business, it pays the bills” just to move the conversation on and talk about something else, but insead I'll try saying something like “I run my own styling business, and I love it! I get to show people how good they can look, and to boost their confidence!”
Selling a product is a hard thing to do, but selling yourself and your ability? Well that’s even harder. But if you love what you do, and are proud of what you’ve achieved then you should shout about it! Right? So why is it so hard to do??
What do you think? I can’t be the only person who struggles with this? So tell me, how do you talk positively about your non-traditional job?
I do not work and while there are some parts of the world that being a housewife is normal in Sweden it is not so this is how I feel when meeting new people. They are always so confused and while I love being at home and it is what works best for my husband and me right now I always end up saying something like I am in between jobs to avoid the questions and judgement.
ReplyDeleteIt must be tough at times but I'd be fascinated haha! :) You must have one of the coolest jobs ever.
ReplyDeleteTara x
What a great article!! As a stay at home Mum I struggle telling people that's what I do. I feel like they're going to think I'm lazy and not ambitious and uninteresting. But then I realise how fortunate I am to be able to watch my children grow up. On days when I feel less than adequate about my career/work situation my husband is amazing at reminding me that I am the glue that holds our home together and that my role as a SAHM is actually a job - if I suddenly wasn't around anymore he'd have to employ a Nanny to take care of our kids.
ReplyDeleteNic, you do an amazing job! Deciding to stay at home to raise your children is definitely not lazy or uninteresting, and is totally a full time job!! I can’t help thinking
ReplyDeletethat the people who might judge full-time mums, only do so because there’s a
part of them that wishes they could be one.
Haha, I wish more people were like you! I think it's a great job, but it is super challenging at times and at the moment it's just me, myself and I so it's really hard to stop being in work mode. x
ReplyDeleteHi Bailie, I can somewhat relate to you, as while we were in India my visa wouldn’t allow me to work so I had a lot of time to fill. I kept busy by volunteering and keeping my business running in the UK, and I loved that I had the time spare to do all the things I’d never normally have time to do, but when people back at home asked what I did all day I’d struggle to tell them. I felt like I was making excuses for staying at home and not working. It’s mad that we all feel this pressure to impress people for fear of being judged. If staying at home is what works for you and makes you happy then that’s great! You shouldn’t have to make excuses for it. I imagine lots of the people you talk to wish they could do the same.
ReplyDelete